6 Things to Consider Before Marrying

It is important that we have principles in choosing the person we are going to marry. It should not be base on material things, physical appearance or money. I have prayed for my spouse.

Matthew 7:7 (KJV) Ask and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you:

Yes, I have few frogs before I met my prince. I was in mess, I am desperate, I am tired, I am alone. This situation almost made me “short circuit”. I have a lot of "what ifs", What if i marry a rich foreign guy who can save me from miseries, someone who can uplift my financial stability, someone who can give what i need. Sounds like more of a receiver’s wish right? A selfish desire. But what if it happened the other way around? I have married a guy who i think will give me heaven and earth will happen to be the opposite? That will be another pain and misery. I am scared. Why settled for anything less when there is someone destined for me? I prayed. Pray. And Pray. I told the Lord everything. My worries, my Fears and my pains and leave everything to Him.

Book that helps: Now What by Gary Mayes – When you’re on the cliff and you don’t know what to do cultivate your calm center and wait on the Lord.

And one day, HE came :) I knew It was Him, He was the Gift that i am praying for. I thank God for He never leaves me, He never let me fall and He listens.

Just a thought of sharing with you these 6 things to ponder before marrying this might help you consider things before jumping into the sacrament of marriage.

6 TIPS FOR CHRISTIANS PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE

By: Pastor Jackson Crum

1. Don't look for your spouse to be your savior 

Your spouse cannot give you what only Jesus can provide for you. And, if you enter marriage thinking otherwise, you're off to a rocky start. "A spouse cannot heal your deepest hurts, fulfill your deepest longings or read your mind," Crum notes.

2. Marriage is not about what you receive from being married, but what you bring to the marriage.

Marriage is not a 50/50 effort—it is a 100/100 endeavor. "If God loved us only 50%, we'd be in constant trouble," Crum says.  "As followers of Christ, the Gospel compels us to give without expectation of receiving. If we have an expectation of receiving, then we keep score, which leads to giving ourselves grace and making more of what we do and being highly critical of our spouse for not providing what we think we need," he explains.

3. Your "love tank" needs to be filled through the work of the Gospel in Christ, and not by your spouse. 

If you find that you are fully loved and delighted in Christ, you are going to be able to love without expectations. "You love, not because your spouse deserves it or has earned it, but because you have first been loved by God when you didn't deserve it, when you haven't earned it, when you weren't lovable.  This enables you to love through tough times, hurtful times and times when you are not loved back," Crum says.

4. Don’t go into marriage thinking you have a back door. 

 If you enter marriage thinking you can simply get divorced if things don't work out, when things get tough, you're going to walk away. "Enter marriage knowing the Gospel is able to prevail over anything. I've watched couples work through very difficult situations because the Gospel brings great hope," adds Crum.

5. Find what is biblically normal for your marriage, and stop comparing yourself to other couples.

 "We look at Scripture and God to find our norm, not to other couples," Crum explains. "For example, what does healthy communication look like in your marriage? It's o.k. if your normal communication is loud and passionate, but if it goes into attacking, you've gone outside of your biblical norm," he says. Rule of thumb in finding your biblical norm: Be quick to forgive; be quick to serve; and be quick to extend grace.

6. Affection is a loving gift we give to our spouse. 

Don't withhold affection as punishment or use it as a reward. "Affection is driven by seeking to express our love in the fullest fashion. We forgive, we listen, and we extend affection. If we don't see love as an act of service, we end up seeing affection as the one act we can control," Crum notes. When we use Christ as our model for love, we learn to love unconditionally. Crum suggests replacing the word "love" with "Jesus" when reading 1 Corinthians 13.4-7, to see the fullness of God's love:"Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail."